Hello dear friend. What can I say after so much silence? So much time has passed, time that I really wanted to be here but just felt I had nothing to share. Truly, almost everyday, I have sat down only to close the computer and walk away. The past week has been a break through. The first week that I have had time and want to sit down and start a new project, the first week that I have spent every day outside in the sun watching the wonders of spring with all of its pomp and renewal.
I have missed sharing here with you, I have been reading emails but honestly, have just started reading all the comments. You make me smile more than you know. Kate, Louise, Jacki, Lisa, Lori Ann, Leah, Jan, Angela, Jennifer all of them, Lisa, Diane, Rachel thank you for your friendship, words of encouragement and taking time to check in on me.
It is a tiny bit embarrassing I guess to have so many people worry about me. I really don’t like attention and don’t do well when I am the center of attention which is probably hard to believe from someone who is always online saying “hey, look what I made” or “here is my dinner from last night” and “come and follow my life here”. Really, I am just a person who loves to share the little that I know to make the world a tiny bit better and knowing that we all share so many things in common and that you have been reading, makes my heart swell a little and it makes the sun a bit brighter over here.
The sun! Did I tell you it has been here? Oh and everything has come back to life. Slowly but surely. Everyday I walk outside to find new flowers and new trees leafing out. I have found rhubarb and asparagus growing in the little garden out back. The violets, so pretty and dainty. I have plans to make some violet tea jelly, perhaps tomorrow. We have chicks! They are now past the cute stage and venturing into that ackward teen stage and almost out of the baby pool in the basement. We have been busy creating new beds, clearing brush, pulling weeds and planning where the perennials will live, where the fruit trees will live.
Our meals have started to turn from the winter soups and squashes to lighter more local fare. We have been so blessed to become friends with farmers who live just around the corner and they have the most amazing eggs. As good as from our own farm and many times double yolkers. I love to drive past their farm every day to see their hens busily pecking around their front pasture. I have been thinking of some new recipes to try and there are so many wild edibles here to become acquainted with. So much to do. I miss the energy to do all those things. I am being patient with myself and slowly I feel as if I am getting to a new day.
My oldest daughter came to visit along with baby Lewie! She spent a week here when all we did was go out to eat daily (we are now recovering economically from such a venture), taking her to see everything we have seen without her, spending time with her and of course as any daughter of mine would want to do, we went thrifting and antiquing (at her request). We all got to hug and squeeze Lewie as much as we possibly could and I was suprised at how much Matthew loves his little nephew considering he is the reigning prince of this house. It was so marvelous. I fell asleep every night that week thank God for allowing me to have all my children under the same roof once again even if just for a few days. It was just as it always was, board games, staying up late watching movies, laughing at jokes that only siblings get.
I wanted to share it with you but just as our last days drew near, I got a call from my mother. A call asking me to sit down and not get too upset. A call which ended in my mother who is a thousand miles away having to have heart surgery to replace the pacemaker which had stopped functioning. She is fine, and recovering and we are all so very happy that she is but we have a very stressful two days one of which was actually Good Friday.
We mommas don’t enjoy others worrying about us, we however worry about everyone else and so I thank you. Your words have really helped me to break through. It is like something you have been putting off, it is so hard to get started again but once you have you want to continue. I promise to be here much more regularly but I have decided not to put any must do’s on my plate at the moment. I do hope to continue the Real Food series soon but for now, I am just going to be planting, watering, weeding and loving my family. One day at a time.
