Farmish Momma

6 months and what to say about it

By Tricia on March 16, 2015 in Home, Uncategorized

Hello Friends!! Truly if you are still here and reading this, that is what I count you as.

6 months is a very long time, no? It seems much longer to me. I have really missed you all and this space. I am sorry to have left it that way and if anyone worried, please forgive me. I have cherished your messages and comments and most of all your prayers. This last 6 months have been a different season in my life. Matthew has now been my longest baby ever. He has stepped into that role very happily.

Silence is not a bad thing. It is necessary sometimes to guard it in order to guard your heart and heal. I think so often of Our Lady and how much she quietly kept in her heart during her time as a mother on Earth. She pondered everything, quietly. That is what I have been doing.

Last week I picked up my camera and put on the snow boots that have accompanied me outside this winter for walks in white covered woods. I had to get pictures of our amazing snow fall and then realized my camera was not turning on so off to the shop it went and when I picked it up, all ready to go, I knew it was time to return here.

Today, I sat outside in the sun! The sun which has not been present here for a while was there, everywhere. Accompanying me as I did a little needlework and it was glorious. I feel spring in the air and I know it is coming. Everything will be waking very soon and I am so excited to take it all in. So excited for the violets to pop up. I intend to pick every flower and make some jelly. Oh I can hardly wait. Yesterday I found some wild spring onions and I know the rest will soon follow! The chickens know it is coming. Today they are just happy to bask in the warm sun along with me. All of us await the dandelions and all their possibilities.

Today may be one of the last days that we can walk freely in our woods before spring fills all the trees and greenery which block our passage many times with briars and poison ivy. A chance to follow our creek to the end of our property and perhaps find a little inhabitant in its waters (do you see him in the picture?). Treasures and familiar pathways are ours today. It is amazing to think what a difference one week may make in the view behind our home. Even our chickens tried as much as they could to follow us deep into the woods before tiring and heading back to the creek.

What is your favorite part of the beginning of spring? I am off to do a little sewing for a certain birthday boy who knows I am working on something for him and then I will get more seeds started. So exciting. This is definitely my favorite part of the year.

Comments { 16 }

this summer

By Tricia on September 14, 2014 in Family, Weekly Journal

Oh goodness! So much to say and it should start with a thank you to everyone who has left me messages, comments and well wishes. This summer was wonderful and hard and beautiful and sad and every other emotion that is available to the human experience.

So many time I have wanted to sit here with you and tell you that we have been through some things but have come through the other side. So many things I took pictures of and did not share and then eventually it became too hard to share those things without sharing the one thing that sits in my heart. Even my camera seemed too much, something that usually feels right at home with me where ever I go.

I had a wonderful little secret, we did, all of us here. We only told a few friends and not even my parents or Poppa’s parents. A beautiful little secret growing in our hearts. Then one day the secret was no more and we could not tell anyone because we could not share our sadness. On Mother’s Day, no less, we lost a baby… Those are the words I just could not share but recently a friend told me that I really needed to. I was 15 weeks along. Just far along enough to feel that we were safe. I truly was happy with our 9 and then we were blessed with a new soul and losing him or her has been hard. Hard on this momma’s heart. I threw myself head first into the next thing to do, the next place to go. Something, anything. I did not want to share my sad news with anyone. First because it makes it all the more real, second because I can’t deal with the person who may decide to remind me that I have 9 children as if they are interchangeable. Well, this is me being vulnerable so if you have thought just that, then please do keep it to yourself.

This summer we tended the garden, we played, we sang, we learned together, we traveled. We had to because life goes on as many of you may know. And then a few days ago I pulled out Matthew’s birthday crown and there it was, right on his crown. That rainbow I put on everything that is his because he is a rainbow baby and he is God’s promise to me that all is well. That rainbow which means hope and promise also means that we have to look past the clouds to find what is behind it. You never see the rainbow while it is storming but it will be there and so now you know. My absence. I apologize really. If you were called to pray for us, unknowingly, I thank you.

I can’t really tell you everything we did but I do have a few pictures. I knew writing this would be the road block to my blogging and that until I wrote it I would not be able to share anything else. So, I am here. I miss sharing our little life with all of you. I am in the process of going through all the comments now and the emails because even that was just too hard.

We are enjoying today which seems very cool out and I see the occasional leaf fly by here and there as I await for the colors on those leaves to start their turn to fall beauty. We are pulling the summer garden up slowly and preparing to plant for fall. This summer was everything it was supposed to be but I know summer is almost passed and as fall approaches I try to find space in my heart to hold all that happened this summer.