For the past few days I have been ignoring that today was coming. I knew it was coming but my heart just couldn’t deal with it so I put it out of my mind. Today, Ronnie left to spend a few days at her godparents house three hours away.
That may not sound very tragic but to this momma it is gut wrenching. I know she is in good hands and I also know that she is certainly having a great time but my momma’s heart wants her close by. Selfish, I know but I am certainly very selfish with my children and I probably always will be.
I’m not the only one though. For the past few days, every time I have turned a corner the conversations floating in the air all surround Ronnie’s upcoming trip. Everyone is concerned that she will be alone. She is definitely not alone but to our children, being without another sibling is indeed alone for they all share a heart, the heart of our family.
The night before, Erica helped Ronnie pack her bags which I am sure was hardest for her since they are probably the closest being sisters that are exactly two years apart and share a room and most everything. Erica tried every way of getting herself invited on the trip so she would not have to be without her sister but the time came for Ronnie’s first journey away from us and it was time to go.
I secretly made her a new pillowcase for her trip knowing that this would be hard for her. She did love it as did Olivia and Erica and so I am now working on two more pillowcases for the girls beds. She hugged it tight and said she was taking my love with her in the pillow….sigh.
We all put on a brave face for her sake, though as the time drew near for Poppa to take her on the trip there, the faces became less and less brave. By the time she made her way to the car, there were very few dry eyes including her own. Goodbye hugs were aplenty as well as instructions such as “if you need to come home, don’t worry, I will tell Momma to come and get you” or “if you miss me, just close your eyes and think of me”.
As I made my way back in to get Matthew, who was now on Erica’s hip, still with my camera in hand, I walked into the sight of my little ones consoling each other and could not help but get a picture (or two…or three). Veronica will I am sure be surprised to see how even the little ones missed her so.
She called me tonight and told me all about her wonderful day, the beautiful room that was prepared for her and how her Aunt Tara tucked her in and sat with her until she fell asleep, things mothers of nine do not do. She said that she loved everyone here and could not wait to see us in a few days. In her voice I could hear the little bit of homesick feeling we are all sharing today but also the fun of a new adventure for her.