If there is any proof that babies in the belly suck all the brain power from their momma’s, its in the fact that I promised to share my big life changing news yesterday and forgot to include it. By the time I realized it, it just felt weird to include it with the Stash Bash. Of course, I can’t blame it completely on my “condition” as one of my daughters refers to my pregnancy, I have always had a propensity for being forgetful but here goes.
I had my first born very early in life (at 20), I like most mothers out there went from being all about me to being all about her. She changed my life in the 15 minutes I was pushing her into my arms. I have grown up right next to her and she is my everything. Now, notice I say SHE is MY everything because at some point kids grow up and get their own everythings and it is rarely their mother. I tend to be very selfish about my children, I want them all to myself. I knew I had to work on that when she turned 18 two years ago and when she got her drivers license it was a very hard day for me. Why? Because every since I saw the movie, The Father of the Bride, when she was only 5 months old, it occurred to me that someday we would not be a couple anymore.
The past 2 years have been a hard and bittersweet time for me. We have gone from hanging out and doing everything together, movie nights until our eyes could not stay open, working on new craft projects together to her wanting to have friends that I did not introduce into our lives and looking for a job. All terrifying things to a momma like me. I watched her blossom from a giggly girl to a strong and determined woman before my eyes. Shouldn’t I be happy about this? I raised her to be this way. When she was born this was my goal and I did it. As I type this, tears are running down my nose and a flood of images runs through my mind. My throat hurts from holding back feelings for her because the time has come for her to leave our little nest and make her own. She is so much more than I could have ever asked for and so much better than anyone I deserve to have so close to me. Alexandra is giving, thoughtful, considerate and loving. Her beauty inside and out and out is exceeded only by her ability to love.
It was nearly two years ago that she met someone. Someone wonderful, thoughtful, hard working and just as responsible as her. The son of a friend of ours, who saw in her the same amazing human being that I see. Who knew that she was the one and that he could not let her slip away from him. We do not do the dating thing around here. It is a hard thing to teach to your daughters when you yourself dated a lot. We have taught all of our children to not worry about such things until you have reached a point in your life where if you meet the right person, you can let it turn into something useful and beautiful. To be fair to yourself and the other person.
We have 2 pairs of rocking chairs on our front porch. They were purchased for my daughters. Why you ask? Because in my family, there is a custom that anyone interested in a daughter would come and sit with her on the front porch. Many marriages in my family were developed on the front porch. At first, Lewis was allowed to come and sit with her as many times a week as he wanted on the front porch in the rocking chairs. Many hours where spent there as they shared stories of their lives, tears and laughter, struggles and dreams. Just enough privacy away from nosy eyes and ears and when Poppa felt the time was right a date to the movies with friends followed by a year of family time and a beautiful courtship . Fast forward to a year ago when he came and asked Poppa and I if he could ask for the hand and heart of our most amazing treasure.
My big news is that 3 weeks or so after we welcome a new babe into our family, our oldest babe will start a family of her own. On October 6, she and Lewis will become one before the eyes of Our Lord and in the site of all those whom they love. I have not written about it for the last year that we have been preparing because, well, I don’t why but it just did not feel right and I guess sharing it would make it all that much more real.
The last year here has been exciting and heart breaking and we are now just 9 weeks away. She has decided to have the reception here on our farm. We have endured the search for the perfect dress, every estimate from caterers and flowers to the cement guy who will be finally putting in a concrete floor in our barn after 5 years of being here.
We are so very happy for her and a little bit sad for us. She is only 20 and we never thought it would happen this fast but emotionally she is more than capable of running a home, is uber sensible when it comes to emotions and knows how hard and wonderful it is to have a successful marriage (hopefully we have given a somewhat good example) and since he has now graduated from college we have no more impediments.
I hope you will indulge me in the next few weeks as I share all the secret plans I have been keeping to myself and if at some point you get tired of wedding plans, just let me know : )
Here are the Save the Date pictures that were sent out a while back. They were taken by a novice photographer (me) but I think they came out OK hee hee.
Sorry to have kept you in suspense and to all who emailed me about the missing news, thank you! Please keep us in your prayers. The next couple of weeks will be an emotional roller coaster and really need your prayers to keep us going as we welcome new life into our family and let go of the first one we started.
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